


Ghost Besties

by BreeGold



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Doctor Who AU, F/F, Fluff, Ghost Hunters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28717122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreeGold/pseuds/BreeGold
Summary: If your house is haunted. If you are sick of furniture moving, ectoplasm soaking the carpets, and wailing keeping you up at night, and if you live within reasonable travelling distance, you can call the Ghost Besties.Yaz and the Doctor, a title that she had gone by since childhood, an MSN handle that stuck and lent itself rather well to her current profession, are the Ghost Besties.The Doctor is a dork. Yaz is half dork. The Doctor is half badass, Yaz is a whole badass. Together they are badass dorks who cleanse homes, banish spirits, and kick transparent ass.
Relationships: Thasmin - Relationship, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Day In The Afterlife

One day Yaz was fiddling with a spectrometer in the Ghost Besties headquarters; the basement of Yaz’s parent’s house, when a peeling, trilling rang out from the desk. Their ancient, handset telephone that they used purely for business, was ringing.  
‘Doctor’ Yaz called and out of nowhere the woman leapt, gambolled over to the desk and answered.  
‘Hello, Ghost Besties, the one stop spirit tackling team, the Doctor talking’ she recited excitedly. They’d been at it for a few months now. Yaz still felt like they needed a motto or something, maybe a jingle on local radio. The Doctor mouthed something unintelligible to Yaz, holding the phone to her ear, when Yaz shrugged, she mimed frantically for a pen. Yaz passed it to her and she beamed in thanks,  
‘Right and where is the house, oh King’s Drive, fancy’ the Doctor said, noting down the address on her forearm with the pen.  
‘A whole stack of notepaper, right there’ Yaz said shaking her head. The Doctor placed the phone back on the handset and smiled cheekily at Yaz,  
‘Wear your Sunday best, we’re going to posh town’ she said, reaching for her long, grey coat.  
‘If you’re wearing that old thing then I’m not gonna bother’ Yaz said pulling on her trusty leather jacket over her leopard blouse.  
‘This old thing is my lucky jacket, worn this for every ghost I’ve ever fought!’ The Doctor defended it, smoothing it down and flapping it around her theatrically.  
‘That just means that it’s soaked in slime and smells of old cigarettes bab’ Yaz said, producing a can of air freshener and spraying the Doctor liberally with it.  
‘Oi, I’ve told you to warn me before you do that’ she moaned, spluttering. Yaz smiled sweetly,  
‘I’ll try to remember’ she lied. 

Their car was a blue Ford Escort. Yaz wasn’t sure how the Doctor kept her running, but she managed it with a lot of tinkering, grease, and duct tape. She could often by found in the garage, her stupid goggles and apron, up to her elbows in the car’s bonnet. They fishtailed down the wide streets towards King’s Drive. Yaz was busy texting while the Doctor drove, like a madwoman as usual. Her sister Sonya was abusing her over her lack of a girlfriend yet again. Yaz cast a sideways glance at the Doctor, oblivious as ever. She knew that she would never work up the courage to ask her out, but it was nice to imagine.  
‘Hey Doctor, are you ever gonna take me on a date or are you waiting until we’re both ghosts ourselves?’ She imagined asking. Before Yaz could imagine the Doctor’s response, the car screeched to a halt outside the place.  
‘Holy...’ the Doctor trailed off,  
‘Actually, the opposite if you think about it’ Yaz added, looking with awe at the mini mansion. It was definitely haunted. A sickly green glow radiated from the windows, tendrils of white, smokey, insubstantial wisps were wrapped around the chimneys and even draped itself over the trees in the front garden.  
‘Can we manage this?!’ The Doctor asked Yaz, looking at her nervously. Yaz swallowed hard and nodded.  
‘We got all the gear, it’s just, bigger than usual, right’ she said, trying to sound confident for her friend. The Doctor let herself be convinced,  
‘Yeh, we just have to get it out in the open, zap it with the etheric beam, suck it up with the Spooky Hoover, no biggie, she said, Yaz thought she was going in for a kiss for a second but she was leaning back into the back seat to grab their gear. Yaz flushed and shook her head to herself. Silly. 

Suited up, with their etheric beam canons slung over their shoulders, the Doctor lugging the Spooky Hoover, they strode across the garden. Tendrils that were wrapped around the nearest tree unfurled and floated over to them as they walked purposefully towards the house.  
‘Just ignore them’ Yaz told the Doctor, who was eyeing the approaching smoke.  
‘They’re really big though’ she said, biting her lip.  
‘Don’t waste the hoover’s battery’ Yaz said as the Doctor fumbled with the nozzle when the smoke wrapped around her boot. ‘They can’t do anything, remember Pembrooke?’ The Doctor nodded, she had been completely enveloped in this stuff and it just made her stink of smoke for days.  
‘The real trouble is the green glow inside the house’ Yaz told her, unhelpfully. The Doctor shuddered and walked on, gingerly raising her foot out of the coiled tendril of smoke and following Yaz up the path. They reached the door and Yaz prodded the electric doorbell. Fancy, she thought, the button was bronzed. The chime rang out normally until the last few dings when it warped, distorted, and sounded like a drowned beast.  
‘Good start’ the Doctor deadpanned behind Yaz.  
The door creaked open and a trio of panicked faces greeted them.  
‘Mr, Mrs, and Master Fletcher?’ Yaz asked, and the three of them nodded in unison. ‘Well, what seems to be the problem?’ She asked to break the ice. The woman reached out and grabbed Yaz’s arm,  
‘Please get rid of it, we haven’t slept for a week, this morning it just, expanded’ she said, looking around at her house. The green glow inside was pervasive and the staircase faded away into a thick light blue mist.  
‘We’ll clean em out’ Yaz assured her, taking her hand back from the woman’s grip. The Doctor lingered behind Yaz, making a show of tuning the settings on her etheric beam canon. To the uninitiated they looked like hairdryers with spare phone battery packs attached to them with elastic bands, and they were in actuality exactly that. The Doctor dramatically flicked the switch to HOT and looked resolutely at Yaz, who wanted to snog her little face off when she tried to be serious like that.  
‘Right, assembled Fletchers, please vacate the dwelling, we shall tackle these foul spirits’ the Doctor declared grandly. Yaz nodded along and ushered the family out of the foyer and up the garden path. They gathered by the road and stood huddled together watching their home swirling with fog and pulsing green. Yaz and the Doctor stood at the threshold. The Doctor was nervous but Yaz was excited. She side eyed the Doctor and smiled encouragingly. The Doctor gave a thumbs up and dropped her etheric canon and the Spooky Hoover in the process. Yaz slapped her on the shoulder,  
‘You dork, come here’ she said, reaching for her hand. She interlaced her fingers between the Doctor’s and squeezed them, ‘nothing is going to happen, we trained for this, we’re totally ready’ she said softly. The Doctor nodded,  
‘Thanks Yaz’ she said, and Yaz loosened her hold on her hand, the Doctor picked up her gear and blew out loudly and nodded her head, ‘Ready’  
They ran inside. 

The moment they crossed the threshold, the entire house convulsed. The walls warped and the floor chattered, the floorboards shaking loose, nails popping out of their holes, chunks of plaster raining down in little columns as the ceiling cracked and splintered. The air was freezing. The green glow gave them instant migraines. Smoke tendrils slapped at them as they moved through the hallway. Yaz and the Doctor wielded their canons, pointing them ahead of themselves, whirling round, aiming them into the open doorways as they passed.  
‘Oh god I can feel one of the tendrils against my ankleeee’ the Doctor screeched.  
‘It’s just a little cold, keep going’ Yaz urged her as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Looking up, into the blue mist which crackled and sparked with light within, they had a moment of pause.  
‘Come on Yaz you’re never scared’ the Doctor said, worried.  
‘Oh I’m not scared’ Yaz said, an excited smile breaking out, she raised her canon and flicked it on. The hot air rushed out and parted the blue mist. It was thick and regrouped, swirling back into place, but Yaz flicked a switch and the canon emitted a squeal and a bolt of jagged orange light arced out of it. It zigzagged up the stairs, leaving tiny cigarette burns on the carpet as it impacted. The blue mist scattered and withdrew. Yaz ran up the stairs blasting the mist away with her canon as the Doctor watched her.  
‘These things really work’ she said amazed.  
‘You made them!’ Yaz called back over her should, ‘you shouldn’t be shocked’  
The pair of them made it to the second storey, having blasted the mist away every step of the way. It hung heavy behind them, knitting back together.  
‘I hope the batteries last’ the Doctor murmured and Yaz sighed,  
‘Really not helping’ she said. 

The ghost was inhabiting the master bedroom. They always did, Yaz thought. She had learnt a lot about psycho geography and tried to apply it to houses but it never quite translated. Master bedrooms, cellars, attics, sometimes bathrooms. Ghosts never manifested in the living room, or the kitchen she thought. Oh well. Yaz kicked the master bedroom’s door open and gave a sweeping blast of the etheric beam canon. The orange glow skittered and coruscated against the oppressive green fog inside. The ghost was becoming corporeal. Above the bed, it was suspended in a roiling, cloud of sparks and intangibility, but within a solid nucleus was spinning. It sucked in air and joy and light. Yaz stepped aside, letting the Doctor aim the Spooky Hoover into the room. She clicked the big red button and aimed the nozzle at the ghost. Nothing happened.  
‘Yaz...’ the Doctor said, panicked.  
‘Turn it up’ Yaz replied, firing the canon some more, fending off the encroaching mist reaching out from the ghost.  
I AM REAL the ghost said, it spoke in a booming, omnipresent, gravelly whisper that seemed to be inside their heads. The Doctor let out a little stressed out cry and cranked the hoover up. The device wheezed and groaned, struggling to cope.  
‘Get closer’ Yaz called.  
‘Closer, are you mad?!’  
I AM BECOMING REAL  
‘Just turn it on and kick it across the floor towards it’ Yaz said, dropping to her knees and turning, blasting the blue mist behind them as it threatened to overwhelm them.  
I WILL COME BACK  
‘Chatty aren’t ya?’ the Doctor asked the ghost.  
I AM COMING BACK  
‘I can see that, but wouldn’t you prefer to come back somewhere non residential?’ The Doctor asked.  
I AM COMING HOME  
‘It used to live here’ Yaz said, bumping shoulders with the Doctor in the doorway.  
‘You died, I'm so sorry but you died and now other people live here’ the Doctor told the ghost. It hung there above the bed, it bloomed with a red glow and sucked more air and joy and light into itself. Yaz’s head felt like it was going to split open from the migraine and the emotional drain was starting to make her weak.  
‘Figure something out Doctor’ she said as she fought off the mist.  
‘Look around you, really look, this place must look pretty different, you’re old, you’ve been gone a long time’ the Doctor explained. The Spooky Hoover chugged on, sucking in some of the mist and smoke, but the ghost was still growing.  
I WILL COME HOME  
‘Home is gone, look around, it’s not your time any more friend’ the Doctor said, empathising despite the emotional drain. Yaz always admired that. The Doctor was a scaredy cat until she was needed, then she always stepped up. The ghost seemed to hear her, the house shook some more.  
‘I know you're angry but look, times change, you have to move on, there’s a whole other adventure for you to go on after this’ the Doctor shouted to be heard over the whirlwind in the master bedroom. The floorboards rippled and the doorway buckled above them. Yaz pushed the Doctor out of the way as hallway outside caved in. They sprawled on the floor in a heap, Yaz found herself on top of the Doctor, face to face.  
I AM NOT...HOME the ghost said mournfully. The Doctor looked up at the swirling ball that was ghost, the solid object within was fading. From under Yaz she called out,  
‘Go and find a new home, there’s so much left for you to do’ she radiated positivity. The nucleus of the manifesting spirit winked out of existence and the mist, the electric, the green glow, all ceased to be. Yaz looked down at the Doctor, still underneath her, beaming.  
‘They’ve gone’ she said happily. The surge of emotion returning to her from the ghost’s vanquishing overwhelmed Yaz and she leaned down and kissed the Doctor. She was taken by surprise at first, but soon kissed back. The bedroom creaked loudly and the floor gave out beneath them. They fell into the living room below, landing neatly on the couch. They looked around shocked, and the Doctor pointed up at the Doctor and Yaz shaped hole in the ceiling. They started to giggle and didn’t stop even when the Fletchers ran into their wrecked, but completely not haunted house.


	2. Car Boot Sale

‘Oh my goodnessssssss’ the Doctor squealed as she ran off towards one of the rickety tables laid out in the field they were in. It was a Sunday morning and Yaz had been dragged to a car boot sale. The Doctor skidded in the mud and bent at the waist to pluck a tiny ceramic duck from the pile of, well, junk. ‘Duck’ she said simply, turning and showing it to Yaz. She trudged over to her, hands deep in her pockets.  
‘How much is it?’ She asked, wrinkling her nose at it.  
‘25p’ the Doctor said, biting her lip.  
‘I can just about swing that, but it’s just tat isn’t it’ she said. The Doctor’s face fell.  
‘Don't listen to her’ she said to the duck.  
‘Please don’t talk to the duck’  
‘You paying for that duck?’ A gruff voice from below them asked. The car boot seller was sat, arms crossed tightly, his cheeks ruddy against the cold. The Doctor eyed Yaz who sighed and paid the man.  
‘I love him’ the Doctor said, gingerly slipping the duck into her pocket.  
‘Don’t buy too much, the car is messy enough as is’ Yaz said, unable to hide her irritation. It had been days since they had kissed but the Doctor hadn’t mentioned it once. They just fell back into the old routine, like they hadn’t shared anything. They certainly hadn’t talked about it. Yaz had gone to bed that night, after dodging probing questions from Sonya who noticed her smile when she came home, excited and giddy. Then the next morning, she opened the garage door and the Doctor strode in, busied herself at the computer and nothing. For days. 

‘Not much left is there’ the Doctor lamented, crinkling her nose at the emptying tables.  
‘Its only 9 am’  
‘Yeh but these places get picked clean by the early birds, it opens at 6’  
‘You’re mad if you think I’m getting up at 5 and driving you an hour into the sticks’  
‘I thought you loved me’ the Doctor said, making puppy dog eyes at Yaz. She was kidding, and it stung, Yaz bit her tongue and changed the subject.  
‘Look, theres some books over by that Land Rover’ she said and the Doctor took off like a shot. It was getting difficult to keep being normal with her. Yaz just wanted to know if she was waiting for anything, or if she should move on. But what would moving on entail, she couldn’t stop thinking.  
‘Looook’ the Doctor called. Yaz suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.  
‘Looks old’ she said when she joined the Doctor who was holding up a book which had page edges that were once white, now a deep brown. ‘And it reeks’ she said leaning away.  
‘Ripe old smell of books!’ the Doctor said gleefully.  
‘Interested in buying it?’ A wizened old lady asked from where she was perched on the open boot of the Land Rover.  
‘Yes’ the Doctor said before Yaz could stop her. Never say you want something before a price is even mentioned, basic haggling.  
‘£1 then love’ the old lady said, the Doctor spun round to face Yaz who dug out a coin and put it down on the table with a dull clack. The moment she did, everything went cold. The wind whipped up and scattered the covers of the books in-front of them. People whined and bundled up against the sudden surge.  
‘Trouble’ the Doctor said, then the book shot out of her hands, hovered above them, and exploded.

Yaz covered her face and jumped on top of the Doctor. They hit the ground and rolled as fire rained down. Above them, the book had become a writhing vortex of pages and ink.  
‘Poltergeist’ Yaz asked.  
‘Poltergeist’ the Doctor agreed. The book had had a dormant spirit in it, until today, until right frigging now. It cackled above them, laughing ancient, wicked laughter in a field on a Sunday morning. Thrifty shoppers pointed, dumbfounded. The laughter died and the vortex started sucking up the pages from the books directly below it, adding to itself. The covers flipped open and the pages ripped out as though by invisible hands, flew upwards.  
‘Long way to the car’ Yaz said, looking at their battered vehicle far away. Their gear was all in there.  
‘I mean...’ the Doctor rummaged in her coat pocket, pulling out a vape pen.  
‘You don’t smoke’ Yaz said incredulously.  
‘I knowww, it’s a prototype, emergency, mini etheric canon’ she said, ‘you probably should get off me now’ the Doctor said to Yaz who was still laying on top of her. They disentangled and the Doctor pointed the vape pen, no, mini etheric canon, at the poltergeist.  
‘Spirit, this plane is defended, return to your rest or I will be forced to-‘ the Doctor managed to get that far when the entity sent a column of twisting, folding pages towards her. They enveloped the Doctor, obscuring her from Yaz’s view completely. After a few moments, the pages turned to shreds and fell to the floor. The Doctor was covered in paper cuts.  
‘Owwwwwwww’ she said. Yaz ran over to her,  
‘Stop with the speeches’ she advised, snatching the mini etheric canon off her, god it really was a vape pen, she thought as she pointed it at the poltergeist. Click. The pen fizzed, sparked, them a thin beam shot out at the entity. It shook, convulsed, and laughed more, as pages struck by the beam remained intact.  
‘Doesn’t work’ Yaz said, her lips drawing with worry, the Doctor mouthed that she was sorry as more pages smacked them in the face. 

’Running away from a book monster in the sky, what a Sunday’ Yaz growled as they ducked and dodged between the cars and tables of tat.  
‘We’d only have been called out here anyway’ the Doctor said, trying to defend herself.  
‘No we wouldn’t, only you would have bought that mangy old book’  
‘You don’t knowwww that for sure’  
‘I have so many papercuts’  
‘So do I’  
‘It’s so your fault Doctor’  
‘Is not’  
They reached their car and Yaz unlocked the boot. Which was empty.  
‘Are you kidding me’ Yaz asked, turning to look daggers at the Doctor who stood there guiltily.  
‘Oh yeah’ she started but Yaz held her hand up,  
‘I know, you wanted the space to buy more stuff, wow’ Yaz said, pressing her nose bridge with her thumb and forefinger. Behind them, the car boot sale was being sucked up into the sky and now acidic ink was being sprayed intermittently onto the grass where it sizzled.  
‘If we die here, I’m haunting you forever’ Yaz said. 

They ran back to the Land Rover, which was now being lifted, inexorably into the sky as the spirit grew.  
‘Talk to us, use your voice, the one you laughed with, commune, parley’ the Doctor shouted into the vortex.  
‘Parley, very well, how do you propose you right this wrong?’ The poltergeist asked, it’s voice was gravelly but intelligent.  
‘You’ve assumed a lot of knowledge here mate, we’re just on a day out’ Yaz said. The vortex shifted. It seemed slightly embarrassed.  
‘You mortals don’t know of me?’ The voice asked.  
‘I know you’re a spirit trapped in a book, until I bought you’ the Doctor ventured.  
‘Bought, traded, bartered, I was sold’ the book spat the last word like it was poison.  
‘And you don’t like that?’ Yaz asked.  
‘Would you?!’ The book growled, an entire table flew up into the vortex to be crushed, showering trinkets over the pair of them.  
‘Definitely not, how can we fix it’ the Doctor asked.  
‘Return me’ the voice said, as though it were obvious.  
‘Oh, okay fine’ the Doctor looked around for the old lady. She found her crouched under the Land Rover, quivering. ‘I need a refund’ the Doctor said, crouching down to see her. The old lady shook her head, numb, confused, not listening.  
‘We need our pound back’ Yaz pressed. The old lady peeked out from under the car and saw the roiling vortex of paper and ink crushing another table into dust.  
‘I don’t want that back’ she said fearfully. The poltergeist let out an enraged howl and the Land Rover flew up and vanished into powder.  
‘You’ve got to, otherwise it will eat us all, maybe the entire county’ the Doctor said softly.  
‘Or country’ Yaz added.  
‘The continent’ the poltergeist said sulkily.  
‘See, it’s serious, take it back, it belongs to you’ the Doctor said, pointing at it and then the old lady.  
‘It’s been in my old mom’s attic since I was born, I’ve never even read it’ the old lady said aghast.  
‘Spirits aren’t rational, sorry’ Yaz said up to the vortex, ‘they are sometimes trapped, cursed, you have to just accept it back and this will all stop’  
‘I don’t know, what’s in it for me?’ The woman asked.  
‘Apart from not dying?’ The Doctor asked, hands on her hips.  
‘Poltergeists usually haunt selfish families’ Yaz said, remembering that particular piece of lore she had read.  
‘Great, well keep the pound, just accept the refund, say it’ the Doctor urged,  
‘I need something I can sell on, if I can never shift the book...’  
‘Doctor, the duck’ Yaz said, trying not to smirk at her crestfallen little face.  
‘No, I love the duck’  
‘More than your life?’ She asked, turning it back on her.  
Sighing a deep, heavy sigh, the Doctor pulled the ceramic duck from her pocket.  
‘Will this do?’ She asked, reluctantly. The old lady brightened,  
‘Yes that will do nicely, the return is accepted’ she said and with that, the vortex resolved itself into the book again, which plopped into the lady’s lap.  
‘I thought my car would come back too’ she moaned, stroking the cover of the book, ‘hey, this is my family’s genealogy’ she said, before opening it and leafing through, interested. 

‘She sold her own family tree’ Yaz said, as they helped out people’s tables back upright and took the long way round back to the car.  
‘She didn’t know, wasn’t her fault really’ the Doctor said glumly.  
‘I’ll find you another duck’ Yaz said, pulling her into a side hug.  
‘No, wasn’t meant to be’ she said, looking into Yaz’s eyes, they took a step and it brought their faces a little closer. The moment was broken when the Doctor skidded in the mud.  
‘Maybe next time we will go to an indoor market or something’ she said, cleaning her boot on the grass.  
‘There won’t be a next time’ Yaz said testily. When they got back to the car, Yaz found the courage to ask the Doctor about the other day.  
‘Listen Doctor, you know how we...kissed...’ she said, the words so heavy and hard to push out.  
The Doctor’s bright eyes met Yaz’s dark ones.  
‘Yeh?’  
‘So that did happen’ Yaz said, jokingly.  
‘Yes, it was nice’ the Doctor admitted, glancing down at Yaz’s lips momentarily.  
‘It was’ Yaz agreed, ‘did it mean anything to you?’ she held her breath, terrified, this was way scarier than any ghost.  
The Doctor opened her mouth to speak, oh god, Yaz thought.


End file.
